ASSISTANT - READER DISCRETION ADVICED

ASSISTANT
So I recently lost my assistant, it’s sad but I must go on. She went back to fashion school or art school or special school. Not sure but I wish her the best of luck. Anyways I still have stories. The other day I was carpooling with a co-worker and Assistant came up in the conversation. He wanted to hear a story and since we had an hour drive I told him about the bend and snap. So here its is:

BEND AND SNAP
Dude is a casual man; he has kind eyes and is cuddly. He's married so I wouldn't "cuddle" with him in a provocative way but he's just that type of person you want to hug. Any who, I feel if I tried to explain that any further it would come of skeezy and I am no skeez, god knows I’ve tried but it just doesn't suit me. Ok, ok...so Dude. Kind, cool guy who wears black sock with his boardshorts and has an epic beard. So one day Dude is outside talking on the phone and Assistant walks out. Ever since Assistant started here she has been out for dick. You can see it in her eyes and also she said "i am out for dick" No she didn't, but she might as well have. So innocent Dude is casually talking on the phone and Assistant has forgotten something in her car. BTW, anytime she goes to her car she either reeks of weed or is super hyper, hmmmm? Suspect. Assistant is walking across the parking lot and notices Dude on the phone pacing on the sidewalk. Assistant seems like the type of person who has seen Legally Blond at least 5 times...in the theater. Dude noticed that she mysteriously dropped her keys. Assistant slowly bends over, conveniently revealing her back side and then ever so gently looks over her should, WHILE BENT OVER, to see if Dude has taken a-liken to her hind. He didn't, and neither did my carpool buddy. His response to the story was amazing. He told me that his dick crawled back inside him. HAHAHAHA, still so funny, to this day. MORAL: be careful men, you might see things in this world that will make your pee pee become introverted and hide back up inside you.