The Real World, South Coast Metro

Last Night on The Real World

News Release
3 people shot in separate attacks in South Coast Metro
http://www.ocregister.com/articles/police-colon-victim-2313035-street-santa
SOUTH COAST METRO – Police are investigating three separate shootings that left three people injured in less than 24 hours.

7:30PM
PHE: Hey lets go get frozen bananas at the ice cream parlor
CHARLIE: that's what she said
KRYS: Yes lets, I'm so happy I am going to do the unicorn dance, eeeehehehe
CHARLIE: That's what she said
PHE: Please stop

PHE: Can I have a chocolate cover banana with nuts
CHARLIE: That's what she said

Several police...sirens...helicopters

PHE: ITS THE SANTA ANA SHARP SHOOTER
CHARLIE: That’s what she said
PHE: Lets go home...I'm scared. also the stick is to small, I can't hold on to my banana
CHARLIE: That's what she said, boom!!!
KRYS: You know that's not why, it’s because you still have your baby teeth, your big people teeth haven't come in it
KRYS: That's why we call you baby tooth
PHE: Who calls me baby tooth?
KRYS: O that's what we call you behind your back...oops

MEANWHILE

Cops are investigation a shot out back window of a suburban just yard from our ice cream treats, one man was taken in for minor injuries but cops are speculating that this could be related to recent shootings that have ravaged this once peaceful neighborhood. CSI was on the scene (we saw the CSI van so this is so not a dramatization)

CHARLIE: I think I smell blood
PHE: what are you a hound dog?

PHE: Krystal what are you doing, WE CAN’T STAY STAGNATE...RUN THE RED!!!
KRYS: A moving target is hard to hit
CHARLIE: That's what she said

Next week on the real world

The house gets a new roommate: How will the house adapt to a 4 foot tall Native American midget. Toon in and watch.

THE REAL WORLD - SOUTH COAST METRO

KRYS: Remember that moldy towel that smelled bad
PHE: yes
KRYS: I cleaned it and it smells good now
PHE: I don't care
KRYS: YOU WHERE GOING TO THROW IT AWAY...but I got the smell out
PHE: so
KRYS: well I thought you where challenging me
PHE: I wasn't
KRYS: well I took it as a challenge
( 1 minute time laps)
KRYS: I WIN!!!
PHE: you’re weird

The Real World, South Coast Metro

Last night on the real world.

11:15PM
KRYS: (whimpering and weak) Phoebe help me
PHE: What’s wrong!
KRYS: I was going to the bathroom and I stepped on a piece of glass get it out
PHE: Uh Ok calm down, stay still
KRYS: O my god! DON’T TOUCH ME!!!
PHE: Ok well then do you want tweezers
KRYS: NO ARE YOU CRAZY...GET AWAY FROM ME
PHE: Ok then lets go to the ER
KRYS: its a stupid piece of glass, GET THE TWEEZERS
PHE: Ok just calm down, STOP CRYING
KRYS: O god I'm going to pass out
PHE: (points the flash light while Krystal pulls off the skin from the cut)
KRYS: O MY GOD IT WONT COME OUT ( crys and panics)
KRYS: O wait I think its out...o ya its out but it hurts and its bleeding ( a little embarrassed cause its more then likely that there was no glass in her foot)
PHE: cause you cut yourself you tard...your so overdramatic
KRYS: but its still bleeding
PHE: quit pinching it and put some pressure on it, here put this antibiotic on it
KRYS: FUCK YOU
PHE: PUT IT ON OR I WILL SNEAK IN DURING THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND PUT IT ON MYSELF
KRYS: NOOOOOOOOO
PHE: See its not that bad
KRYS (sting sets in) O MY GOD ( almost passes out again)
PHE: Calm the fuck down and STOP CRYING
KRYS: I was just minding my own business, in a peaceful slumber then this happens...WHY GOD (crying)
PHE: fuck I'm going to bed, put this band aid on it
KRYS: wait...I was just scared cause I thought it wouldn't come out and I would have to go to the hospital. I was losing so much blood; it was touch and go for a second there.
(I have the towel with the blood on it; about 7 drops of blood stained the towel).
PHE: I don't give fuck, go to bed. STOP CRYING

Fabric Shackles

Cloths are just another tactic "The Man" has invited to pigeon hold us into a materialistic society were image and pOooossetions suck our bodies of it life force like leeches. If we were permitted to run naked in the streets I am sure I could retire by now with all the money I would have saved by not squandering my wealth on fashions.

CHILDHOOD

STORIES OF KRYS IN DRAMATIC SITUATIONS
PHE: Drops hot iron on her knee, and pills off about 3inch triangle of her skin
KRYS: AHAHAHAHAHA
PHE: Krystal can you go get mom?
KRYS look you can see the steam holes HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
PHE: limps away to seek medical attention for 3rd degree burns, you can still see the steam holes

OR

Rainy xmas night
KRYS: ... phe that bulb is out fix it
PHE: OK!!! (Tries to pull out wet broken light bulb) BUZZZZZZZZ (electrocuted and sent flying a few feet into the yard, phoebe lays twitching on the ground)
KRYS: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Santa does excist!!!
PHE: Can you go get mom? (shakey rattled voice)
KRYS: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA that was awesome, IZZY YOU HAVE TO COME SEE THIS!