LUNCH RUN

Some guy just tried to run me over with his automobile today. I am shocked at his actions, shame on you sir. So I went on a lunch run for my bosses and was walking to my car. I saw this truck heading my way and he slowed down, so I proceeded with caution, as any normal pedestrian would do. He clearly wasn’t slowing down for me, just the speed bump, dick. As soon as he cleared the speed bump his lead foot hit the gas and he raced to my fragile human body. I can only assume he was trying to beat me. HE DIDN’T!!!! He came to a screeching halt just inches from me. If my hand weren’t full of replenishment for the big boys I would have hit his car with my bare hand like they do in New York and scream, Ayyy, I’m walking here!!!! Instead I stopped right in front of his car flaring my arms in the air, screaming absentees and contemplating throwing the coffee order at him. I didn’t though, because then that would mean I would have to go all the way back to Starbucks and get more coffee. Can you believe he had the nerve to be frustrated with me? He was mad at me for being mad at him regarding the whole “I almost ran you over” incident. Not one ounce of remorse, nothing…just a look of ‘I’m in a hurry get out of my way.’ Well I don’t feel like walking now, I feel like having a picnic right here, or re-buckling my shoes…if I had laces I would re-tie them but I wore my green Volcom sandals with the buckle straps so I’ll do that instead, huh! And maybe I re-check the lunch order and make sure they gave me brown rice. Those fuckers always forget and then I get the heat for it later. I eventually moved and went to my car, and screamed curse words at him as he drove by. Had I more time I would have stalled but the bosses get cranky when they don’t have their coffee. Next time I will take the time to smear that spice chick breast bowl with brown rice all over his car. Maybe shove some oriental salad in his radiator. What a dick!!!!

PS: I think my bosses should know I risked life and limb for their lunch today....YOUR WELCOME!!!!