Guy and Me

Guy and Me
Guy: HI!
Me: Hello?
Dude: He just got really excited when he saw you
Me: Ok?
Guy: I told him
Me: What?!?!?!
Guy: Ya I told him…
Me: I specifically said not to tell anyone
Guy: I didn't here that, when did you say that?
Me: IT WAS THE FIRST THING I SAID. I said, don't tell anyone!!!
Guy: Nope…don't remember that
Dude: We are like one person, so if you tell him it’s like telling me anyways
Guy: I'm pretty good at keeping secrets
Me: Nope, it hasn't even been 5 minutes. Whatever, you both are not allowed to say anything
Guy: By the way I want bacon for my Birthday
Dude: Ya me too, you never do anything for my birthday
Guy: and you missed that other guy’s birthday the other day
Me: whatever no one cares about him
Dude: I hate birthdays
Guy: Just another step closer to death
Dude: When I turn 30 I'm just going to get a bunch of strippers
Guy: When I'm 30 I'll be a fucking dad (Mumbled)
Me: Wow, did you just say you where going to me fucking dead?
Guy: No, I said fucking dad but its pretty much the same thing. I just want a kid so I can coach him
Dude: I want a kid so I can dress him in kick as clothing…super preppy shit
Me: Awwww that's so cute you guys
Guy: Whatever, I'm not buying my kid cloths till he stops growing; I am just going to let him run naked
Dude: I am going to marry a hot chick and then leave this fucking place for the country where we’ll drink out of wells
Me: Wells? Why wells?
Dude: Cause that's what men do
Guy: I am going to name my kid Bartholomew