Guy and Me

Guy: What are you wearing on your face?!?!?
Me: They are called glasses
Guy: ya but why? are they real?
Me: of course they are real!
Guy: so your blind?
Me: No! I have an astigmatism?
Guy: wow, I don't need to know about that kind of stuff
Me: My eyes are shaped weird you ass!!!
Guy: Ya, sounds more like you have eye aids
Me: THAT'S A TERRIBLE THING TO SAY!!!!!
Guy: scratches his mustache on the corner of my desk
Me: Please leave, but before you do what are you doing for lunch?

A few hours passes..

Guy: Hey Secretary!
Me: Excuse me!!! How dare you?!?!?
Dude: Ya! She is not a secretary
Me: I don't answer phones and I don't get coffee
Guy: Wow...lets take it easy
Me: lets not!!!
Dude: She is an executive assistant!!!
Me: That's right, thanks dude
Guy: I am just saying you look like a secretary with your new spectacles
Me: That's worse!!!
Guy: Your being very loud right now
Me: Your being very douchie right now
Dude: Did he just tell you to lower your voice?
Me: Yes! I am sorry but I project when I have been insulted
Guy: I am not insulting you I just think you look like a secretary, BUT A COOL ONE! Like you look like a librarian with a bad side
Me and Bystanders: (look of shock)
Guy: what? (look of clueless and dumb)
Me: I have this pamphlet I want your to take a look at it. It's called sexual harassment hurts everyone...(discretely slide pamphlet across the table whilst eyeballing him with disdain)
Girl: well I like them
Guy: I LIKE THEM TOO! You look good in them I was just saying that you look...
Me: Just stop right there! Guy, its not all about my looks
Guy: Jeez
Me: These glasses make me smarter and I feel like people take me more seriously...
Guy: Nope