TEAM VAN

ME: (on a starbucks run, stopped, waiting at a light)
CRAZY: THUMP
ME: What the deuce!!!!
CRAZY: (walks around the van)
ME: (rolling down my window) everything alright?
CRAZY: (chucks his unopened can of Hawaiian punch at the van)
ME: HEY!!! Take it eassssssy...
CRAZY: fuck you and your life
ME: what?
CRAZY: HOE!!!
ME: wait a minute...

IN THE OFFICE WITH THE MANAGER
ME: Small accident
MGR: what?!?!
ME: Someone kicked the team van
MGR: whaaaat?
ME: ya, he kicked the team van with his foot, there is a dent
MGR: o man
ME: also he threw his punch at me
MGR: lets go look


ME: Yep there its is (small droplets of punch)


MGR: are you serious, how did this happen?
ME: Not sure, but he also called me a hoe...and that is circumstantial, there is no evidence to back that statement!!!
MGR: why didn't you kill him?
ME: well I didn't think that was an option.
MGR: so weird
ME: it’s kind of typical for me, sorry.